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Empty
Eggs: The Doubles speak
of Weasel Words
(from "About Language” by William H.
Roberts )
William
Lutz
William Lutz, chair of the Committee on Public
Double speak of the National Council of Teachers of English, also teachers at Rutgers University. In the following selection
Lutz targets weasel words, an immediately recognizable vocabulary that
advertisers employ when making claims empty enough to mean almost anything. As
the author makes clear, when "new and improved” products "work like” magic to
"help” us, the language of such claims actually means nothing except increased
profit.
▀ JOURNAL PROMPT In this selection Lutz contends that advertisers try to wrap their
claims in language that sounds concrete, specific, and objective, when in fact
the language of advertising is anything but. Think about ads you hear or see or
read frequently. How is the language of the ads misleading? As you prepare your
response, focus on words such as help,
virtually, new, improved, and like.
1. One problem
advertisers have when they try to convince you that the product they are
pushing is really different from other, similar products is that their claims
are subject to some laws. Not a lot of laws, but there are some designed to
prevent fraudulent or untruthful claims in advertising. Even during the happy
years of non-regulation under President Ronald Reagan, the FTC did crack down
on the more blatant abuses in advertising claims. Generally speaking,
advertisers have to be careful in what they say in their ads, in the claims
they make for the products they advertise. Parity claims are safe because they
are legal and supported by a number of court decisions. But beyond parity
claims there are weasel words.
2. Advertisers
use weasel words to appear to be making a claim for a product when in fact they
are making no claim at all. Weasel words get their name from the way weasels
eat the eggs they find in the nests of other animals. A weasel will make a
small hole in the egg, suck out the insides, then place the egg back in the nest.
Only when the egg is examined closely is it found to be hollow. That’s the way
it is with weasel words in advertising: Examine weasel words closely and you’ll
find that they’re as hollow as any egg sucked by a weasel. Weasel words appear
to say one thing when in fact they say the opposite, or nothing at all.
"Help” – The Number One Weasel
Word
3. The biggest
weasel word used in advertising doublespeak is "help”. Now "help” only means to
aid or assist, nothing more. It does not mean to conquer, stop, eliminate, end,
solve, heal, cure, or anything else. But once the ads says "help”, it can say
just about anything after that because "help” qualifies everything coming after
it. The trick is that the claim that comes after the weasel word is usually so
strong and so dramatic that you forget the word "help” and concentrate only on
the dramatic claim. You read into the ad a message that the ad does not
contain. More importantly, the advertiser is not responsible for the claim that
you read into the ad, even you though the advertiser wrote the ad so you would
read that claim into it.
4. The next
time you see an ad for a cold medicine that promises that it "helps relieve
cold symptoms fast,” don’t rush out to buy it. Ask yourself what this claim is
really saying. Remember, "helps” means only that the medicine will aid or
assist. What will it aid or assist in doing? Why, "relieve” your cold
"symptoms.” "Relieve” only means to ease, alleviate, or mitigate, not to stop,
end, or cure. Nor does the claim say how much relieving this medicine will do.
Nowhere does this ad claim it will cure anything. In fact, the ad doesn’t even
claim it will do anything at all. The
ad only claims that it will aid in relieving (not curing) your cold symptoms,
which are probably a runny nose, watery eyes, and a headache. In other words,
this medicine probably contains a standard decongestant and some aspirin. By
the way, what does "fast” mean? Ten minutes, one hour, one day? What is fast to
one person can be very slow to another. Fast is another weasel word.
5. Ad
claims using "help” are among the most popular ads. One says, "Helps keep you
young looking,” but then a lot of things will help keep you looking, including
exercise, rest, good nutrition, and a facelift. More importantly, this ad
doesn’t say the product will keep you young, only "young looking.” Someone may
look young to one person and old to another.
6. A toothpaste ad says, "Help prevent
cavities,” but it doesn’t say it will actually prevent cavities. Brushing your
teeth regularly, avoiding sugars in food, and flossing daily will also help
prevent cavities. A liquid cleaner ad says, "Help keep your home germ free,”
but it doesn’t say it actually kills germs, nor does it even specify which
germs it might kill.
7. "Help” is such a useful weasel would that
it is often combined with other action-verb weasel words such as "fight” and
"control”. Consider the claim, "Helps control dandruff symptoms with regular
use.” What does it really say? It will assist in controlling (not eliminating,
stopping, ending, or curing) the symptoms
of dandruff, not the cause of dandruff nor the dandruff itself. What are the
symptoms of dandruff? The ad deliberately leaves that undefined, but assume
that the symptoms referred to in the ad are the flaking and itching commonly
associated with dandruff. But just shampooing with any shampoo will temporarily
eliminate these symptoms, so this shampoo isn’t any different from any other.
Finally, in order to benefit from this product, you must use it regularly. What
is "regular use” – daily, weekly, hourly? Using another shampoo "regular use” –
daily, weekly, hourly? Using another shampoo "regularly” will have the same
effect. Nowhere does this advertising claim say this particular shampoo stops,
eliminates, or cures dandruff. In fact, this claim says nothing at all, thanks
to all the weasel words.
8. Look at
ads in magazines and newspapers, listen to ads on radio and television, and
you’ll find the word "help” in ads for all kinds of products. How often do you
read or hear such phrases as "help stop…”, help overcome …”, "helps eliminate
…”, "helps you to feel …”, or "helps you look …”? If you start looking for this
weasel word in advertising, you’ll be amazed at how often it occurs. Analyze
the claims in the ads using "help”, and you will discover that these ads are
really saying nothing.
9. There
are plenty of other weasel words used in advertising. In fact, there are so
many that to list them all would fill the rest of this book. But, in order to
identify the doublespeak of advertising and understanding the real meaning of
an ad, you have to be aware of the most popular weasel words in adverting
today.
Virtually Spotless
10. One of
the most powerful weasel words is "virtually,” a word so innocent that most people
don’t pay any attention to it when it is used in an advertising claim. But
watch out. "Virtually” is used in advertising claims that appear to make
specific, definite promises when there is no promise. After all, what does "virtually”
mean? It means "in essence or effect, although not in fact.” Look at that
definition again. "Virtually” means not
in fact. It does not mean
"almost” or "just about the same as,” or anything else. And before you dismiss
all this concern over such a small word, remember that small words can have big
consequences.
11. In 1971 a federal court
rendered its decision on a case brought by a woman who became pregnant while
taking birth control pills. She sued the manufacturer, Eli Lily and Company,
for breach of warranty. The woman lost her case. Basing its ruling on a
statement in the pamphlet accompanying the pills, which stated that, "When
taken as directed, the tablets offer virtually 100% protection,” the court
rules that there was no warranty, expressed or implied, that the pills were
absolutely effective. In its ruling, the court pointed out that, according to Webster’s Third New International Dictionary, "virtually” means "almost entirely” and clearly does
not mean "absolute” (Whittington v. Eli Lilly and Company, 333 F. Supp. 98). In other
words, the Eli Lilly company was really saying that its birth control pill,
even when taken as directed, did not in
fact provide 100 percent protection against pregnancy. But Eli Lilly didn’t
want to put it that way because then many women might not have bought Lilly’s
birth control pills.
12. The
next time you see the ad that says that this dishwasher detergent "leaves
dishes virtually spotless,” just remember how advertisers twist the meaning of
the weasel word "virtually.” You can have lots of spots on your dishes after
using this detergent and the ad claim will still be true, because what this
claim really means is that this detergent does not in fact leave your dishes
spotless. Whenever you see or hear an ad claim that uses the word "virtually,”
just translate that claim into its real meaning. So the television set that is
"virtually trouble free” becomes the television set that is not in fact trouble
free, the "virtually foolproof operation” of any appliance becomes an operation
that is in fact not foolproof, and the product that "virtually never needs
service” becomes the product that is not in fact service free.
New and Improved
13. If
"new” is the most frequently used word on a product package, "improved” is the
second most frequent. In fact, the two words are almost always used together.
It seems just about everything sold these days is "new and improved.” The next
time you’re in the supermarket, try counting the number of times you see these
words on products. But you’d better do it while you’re walking down just one
aisle, otherwise you’ll need a calculator to keep track of your counting.
14. Just
what do these words mean? The use of the word "new” is restricted by
regulations, so an advertiser can’t just use the word on a product or in an ad
without meeting certain requirements. For example, a product is considered new
for about six month during a national advertising campaign. If the product is
being advertised only in a limited test market area, the word can be used
longer, and in some instances has been used for as long as two years.
15. What
makes a product "new”? Some products have been around for a long time, yet
every once in a while you discover that they are being advertised as "new.”
Well, an advertiser can call a product new if there has been "a material
functional change,” in the product. What is "a material functional change?” you
ask. Good question. In fact it’s such a good question it’s being asked all the
time. It’s up to the manufacturer to prove that the product has undergone such
a change. And if the manufacturer isn’t challenged on the claim, then there’s
no one to stop it. Moreover, the change does not have to be an improvement in
the product. One manufacturer added an artificial lemon scent to a cleaning product
and called it "new and improved,” even though the product did not clean any
better than without the lemon scent. The manufacturer defended the use of the
word "new” on the grounds that the artificial scent changed the chemical
formula of the product and therefore
constituted "a material functional change.”
16. Which brings
up the word "improved.” When used in advertising, "improved” doesn’t mean "made
better.” It only "changed” or "different from before.” So, if the detergent
maker puts a plastic pour spout on the box of detergent, the product has been
"improved,” and away we go with a whole new advertising campaign. Or, if the
cereal maker adds more fruit or a different kind of fruit to the cereal,
there’s an improved product. Now you know why manufacturers are constantly
making little changes in their products. Whole new advertising campaigns,
designed to convince you that the product has been changed for the better, are
based on small changes in superficial aspects of a product. The next time you see
an ad for an "improved” product, ask yourself what was wrong with the old one.
Ask yourself just how "improved” the product is. Finally, you might check to
see whether the "improved” version costs more than the unimproved one. After
all, someone has to pay for the millions of dollars spent advertising the
improved product.
17. Of
course, advertisers really like to run ads that claim a product is "new and
improved.” While what constitutes a "new” product may be subject to some
regulation, "improved” is a subjective judgment. A manufacturer changes the
shape of its stick deodorant, but the shape doesn’t improve the function of the
deodorant. That is, changing the shape doesn’t affect the deodorizing ability
of the deodorant, so the manufacturer calls it "improved.” Another manufacturer
adds ammonia to its liquid cleaner and calls it "new and improved.” Since
adding ammonia does affect the cleaning ability of the product, there has been
a "material functional change” in the product, and the manufacturer can now
call its cleaner "new”, and "improved” as well. Now the weasel words "new and
improved” are plastered all over the package and are the basic for a
multimillion-dollar and campaign. But after six months the word "new” will have
to go, until someone can dream up another change in the product. Perhaps it
will be adding color to the liquid, or changing the shape of the package, or
maybe adding a new dripless pour spout, or perhaps a ----------------. The
"improvements” are endless, and so are the new advertising claims and
campaigns.
18. "New”
is just too useful and powerful a word in advertising for advertisers to pass
it up easily. So they use weasel words that say "new” without really saying it.
One of their favorites is "introducing,” as in, "Introducing improved Tide,” or
"Introducing the stain remover.” The first is simply saying, here’s our
improved soap; the second, here’s our new advertising campaign for our
detergent. Another favorite is "now”, as in, "Now there’s Sinex,” which simply
means that Sinex is available. Then there are phrases like "Today’s Chevrolet,”
"Presenting Dristan,” and "A fresh way to start the day.” The list is really
endless because advertisers are always finding new ways to say "new” without
really saying it. If there is a second edition of this book, I’ll just call it
the "new and improved” edition. Wouldn’t you really rather have a "new and
improved” edition of this book rather than a "second” edition?
Acts Fast
19. "Acts”
and "works” are two popular weasel words in advertising because they bring
actions to the product and to the advertising claim. When you see the ad for
the cough syrup that "Acts on the cough control center,” ask yourself what this
cough syrup is claiming to do. Well, it’s just claiming to "act,” to do something,
to perform an action. What is it that the cough syrup does? The ad doesn’t say.
It only claims to perform an action or do something on your "cough control
center.” By the way, what and where is your "cough control center”? I don’t remember
learning about that part of the body in human biology class.
20. Ads
that use such phrases as "act fast,” "act against,” "acts to prevent,” and the
like are saying essentially nothing, because "act” is a word empty of any
specific meaning. The ads are always careful not to specify exactly what "act”
the product performs. Just because a brand of aspirin claims to "act fast” for
headache relief doesn’t mean this aspirin is any better than any other aspirin.
What is the "act” that this aspirin performs? You’re never told. Maybe it just
dissolves quickly. Since aspirin is a parity product, all aspirin is the same
and therefore functions the same.
Works Like Anything Else
21. If you
don’t find the word "acts” in an ad, you will probably find the weasel word
"works.” In fact, the two words are almost interchangeable in advertising.
Watch out for ads that say a product "works against,” "works like,” "works
for,” or "works longer.” As with "acts,” "works” is the same meaningless verb
used to make you think that this product really does something, and maybe even
something special or unique. But "works,” like "acts” is basically a word empty
of any specific meaning.
Like Magic
22. Whenever
advertisers want you to stop thinking about the product and to start thinking
about something bigger, better, or more attractive than the product, they use
that very popular weasel word, "like”. The word "like” is the advertiser’s
equivalent of a magician’s use of misdirection. "Like” gets you to ignore the
product and concentrate on the claim the advertiser is making about it. "For
skin like peaches and cream” claims the ad for a skin cream. What is this ad
really claiming? It doesn’t say this cream will give you peaches-and-cream
skin. There is no verb in this clam, so it doesn’t even mention using the
product. How is skin ever like "peaches and cream”? Remember, ads must be read
literally and exactly, according to the dictionary definition of words.
(Remember "virtually” in the Eli Lilly case.) The ad is making absolutely no
promise or claim whatsoever for this skin cream. If you think this cream will
give you soft, smooth, youthful-looking skin, you are the one who has read that
meaning into ad.
23. The
wine that claims "It’s like taking a trip to France”
wants you to think about a romantic evening in Paris as you walk along the boulevard after a
wonderful meal in an intimate little bistro. Of course, you don’t really
believe that a wine can take you to France,
but goal of the ad is to get you to think pleasant, romantic thoughts about France and not
about how the wine tastes or how expensive it may be. That little word "like”
has taken you away from crushed grapes into a world of your own imaginative
making. Who knows, maybe the next time you buy wine, you’ll think those
pleasant thoughts when you see this brand of wine, and you’ll buy it. Or, maybe
you weren’t even thinking about buying wine at all, but now you just might pick
up a bottle the next time you’re shopping. Ah, the power of "like” in
advertising.
24. How
about the most famous "like” claim of all, "Winston tastes good like a
cigarette should”? Ignoring the grammatical error here, you might want to know
what this claim is saying. Whether a cigarette tastes good or bad is a
subjective judgment because what tastes good to one person may well taste
horrible to another. Not everyone likes fried snails, even if they are called
escargot. (De gustibus non est disputandum, which was probably the Roman rule
for advertising as well as for defending the games in the Colosseum.) There are
many people who say all cigarettes taste terrible, other people who say only
some cigarettes taste all right, and still others who say all cigarettes taste
good. Who’s right? Everyone, because taste is a matter of personal judgment.
25.
Moreover, note the use of the conditional, "should”. The complete claim is,
"Winston tastes good like a cigarette should taste.” But should cigarettes
taste good? Again, this is a matter of personal judgment and probably depends
most on one’s experiences with smoking. So, the Winston ad is simply saying
that Winston cigarettes are just like any other cigarette: Some people like
them and some people don’t. On that statement R.J.Reynolds conducted a very
successful multimillion-dollar advertising campaign that helped keep Winston
the number-two-selling cigarette in the United States, close behind number
one, Marlboro.
Can It Be Up to the Claim?
26.
Analyzing ads for doublespeak requires that you pay attention to every word in
the ad and determine what each word really means. Advertisers try to wrap their
claims in language that sounds concrete, specific, and objective, when in fact
the language of advertising is anything but. Your job is to read carefully and
listen critically so that when the announcer says that "Crest can be of
significant value …” you know immediately that this claim says absolutely
nothing. Where is the doublespeak in this ad? Start with the second word.
27. Once
again, you have to look at what words really mean, not what you think they mean
or what the advertiser wants you to think they mean. The ad for Crest only says
that using Crest "can be” of "significant value.” What really throws you off in
this ad is the brilliant use of "significant.” It draws your attention to the
word "value” and makes you forget that the ad only claims that Crest "can be.”
The ad doesn’t say that Crest is of
value, only that it is "able” or "possible” to be of value, because that’s all
that "can” means.
28. It’s so
easy to miss the importance of those little words, "can be.” Almost as easy as
missing the importance of the words "up to” in an ad. These words are very
popular in sale ads. You know, the ones that say, "Up to 50% Off!” Now, what
does that claim mean? Not much, because the store or manufacturer has to reduce
the price of only a few items by 50 percent. Everything else can be reduced a
lot less, or not even reduced. Moreover, don’t you want to know 50 percent off
of what? Is it 50 percent off the "manufacturer’s suggested list price,” which
is the highest possible price? Was the price artificially inflated and then
reduced? In other ads, "up to” expresses an ideal situation. The medicine that
works "up to ten times faster,” the battery that lasts "up to twice as long,”
and the soap that gets you "up to twice as clean” all are based on ideal
situations for using those products, situations in which you can be sure you
will never find yourself.
Unfinished Words
29. Unfinished
words are a kind of "up to” claim in advertising. The claim that a battery
lasts "up to twice as long” usually doesn’t finish the comparison – twice as
long as what? A birthday candle? A tank cheap battery made in a country not
noted for its technological achievements? The implication is that the battery
lasts twice as long as batteries made by other battery makers, or twice as long
as earlier model batteries made by the advertiser, but the ad doesn’t really
make these claims. You read these claims into the ad, aided by the visual
images the advertiser so carefully provides.
30.
Unfinished words depend on you to finish them, to provide the words the
advertisers so thoughtfully left out of the ad. Pall Mall
cigarettes were once advertised as "A longer finer and milder smoker.” The
question is, longer, finer, and milder than what? The aspirin that claims it
contains "Twice as much of the pain reliever doctors recommend most” doesn’t
tell you what pain reliever it contains twice as much of. (By the way, it’s
aspirin. That’s right; it just contains twice the amount of aspirin. And how
much is twice the amount? Twice of what amount?) Panadol boasts that "nobody
reduces fever faster,” but, since Panadol is a parity product, this claim
simply means that Panadol isn’t any better than any other product in its parity
class. "You can be sure if it’s Westinghouse,” you’re told, but just exactly
what it is you can be sure of is never mentioned. "Megnavox gives you more”
doesn’t tell you what you get more of? More value? More television? More than
they gave you before? It sounds nice, but it means nothing, until you fill in
the claim with your own words, the words the advertiser didn’t use. Since each
of us fills in the claim differently, the ad and the product can become all
things to all people, and not promise a single thing.
31.
Unfinished words abound in advertising because they appear to promise so much.
More importantly, they can be joined with powerful visual images on television
to appear to be making significant promises about a product’s effectiveness
without really making any promises. In a television ad, the aspirin product
that claims fast relief can show a person with a headache taking the product
and then, in what appears to be a matter of minutes, claiming complete relief.
This visual image it far more powerful than any claim made in unfinished words.
Indeed, the visual image completes the unfinished words for you, filling in
with pictures what the words leave out. And you thought that ads didn’t affect
you. What brand of aspirin do you use?
32. Some
years ago, Ford’s advertisements proclaimed "Ford LTD – 700% quieter.” Now,
what do you think Ford was claiming with these unfinished words? What was the
Ford LTD quieter than? A Cadillac? A Mercedes-Benz? A BMW? Well, when the FTC
asked Ford to substantiate this unfinished claim, Ford replied that it meant
that the inside of the LTD was 700% quieter than the outside. How did you
finish those unfinished words when you first read them? Did you even come close
to Ford’s meaning?
Combining Weasel Words 33. A lot of ads don’t fall neatly into
one category or another because they use a variety of different devices and
words. Different weasel words are often combined to make an ad claim. The
claim, "Coffee-mate gives coffee more body, more flavor,” uses Unfinished Words
("more” than what?) and also uses words that have no specific meaning ("body”
and "flavor”). Along with "taste” (remember the Winston ad and its claim to
taste good), "body” and "flavor” mean
nothing because their meaning is entirely subjective. To you, "body” in coffee
might mean thick, black, almost bitter coffee, while I might take it to mean a
light brown, delicate coffee. Now, if you think you understood that last
sentence, read it again, because it said nothing of objective value; it was
filled with weasel words of no specific meaning: "thick”, "black”, "bitter”,
"light brown”, and "delicate”. Each of those words has no specific, objective
meaning, because each of us can interpret them differently.
34. Try
this slogan: "Looks, smells, tastes like ground-roast coffee”. So, are you now
going to buy Taster’s Choice instant coffee because of this ad? "Look”,
"smells”, and "tastes” are all words with no specific meaning and depend on
your interpretation of them for any meaning. Then there’s that great weasel
word "like”, which simply suggests a comparison but does not make the actual
connection between the product and the quality. Besides, do you know what
"ground-roast” coffee is? I don’t, but it sure sounds good. So, out of seven
words in this ad, four are definite weasel words, two are quite meaningless,
and only one has any clear meaning.
35.
Remember the Anacin ad – "Twice as much of the pain reliever doctors recommend
most”? There’s whole lot of weaseling going on in this ad. First, what’s the
pain reliever they’re talking about in this ad? Aspirin, of course. In fact,
any time you see or hear an ad using those words "pain reliever”, you can
automatically substitute the word "aspirin” for them. (Makers of acetaminophen
and ibuprofen pain relievers are careful in their advertising to identify their
products as nonaspirin products.) So, now we know that Anacin has aspirin in
it. Moreover, we know that Anacin has twice as much aspirin in it, but we don’t
know twice as much as what. Does it have twice as much aspirin as an ordinary
aspirin tablet? If so, what is an ordinary aspirin tablet, and how much aspirin
does it contain? Twice as much as Excedrin or Bufferin? Twice as much as a
chocolate chip cookie? Remember those Unfinished Words and how they lead you on
without saying anything.
36. Finally,
what about those doctors who are doing all that recommending? Who are they? How
many of them are there? What kind of doctors are they? What are their
qualifications? Who asked them about recommending pain relievers? What other
pain relievers did they recommend? And there are a whole lot more questions
about this "poll” of doctors to which I’d like to know the answers, but you get
the point. Sometimes, when I call my doctor, she tells me to take two aspirin
and call her office in the morning. Is that where Anacin got this ad? | |
